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...Alright, so only mostly.
Homeless has an admission to make. He likes the bars. A lot. And not living right down the road from the bars has seriously put a damper on the ability to go to them. Elaboration: Homeless definitely can't get as plastered as he once did. To be frank its just not SAFE to drive intoxicated. Sure sure, the accident thing is always a risk, but I'm referring to Jailtime and the loss of a Driver's License. Two things that would severely hamper (Read: RAPE) my ability to drive. And it seems like a lotta people get arrested for DWI. Like these people in Long Island. 192 people got arrested there in ONE WEEK. Now granted, not all are for DWI, but quite a damn few are.
Poppycock Homeless says. I can't be affording no driving and massive fines. So that's right out.
My grand solution? Trying to drink less!! So far it seems to be working. I generally go out a LOT earlier (Like around 6 or 7pm until 9 or 10pm) so the crowd is LAME and I don't hang out. Really I just go to chat up my bartender comrades, who seem to make up a large portion of my friend population, or at least the ones I regularly see.
.... But inevitably I'll want to get schmammered and have a good time at the bar (Possibly meet a Lady) so that means I need a better plan.... and so Homeless takes one more step towards his namesake and will brave the Public Transportation System or as we in Lansing call it, CATA.
Now I don't know how many of you ride public Transpo. I recently had an encounter with it out in San Francisco. There, busses were clean, well maintained, and not too crowded (Though I did avoid them during rush hour). Here, in MI, the busses fit the state. Lansing busses are Crowded, dirty, and smell of stale vomit with a tinge of alcoholic urine. Windows are blackened by the soot and muck of people who have a natural avoidance to soap, and you're likely to get stabbed for looking at someone for more than 3 seconds. (God I wish I had a news story to link right there...)
But I digress... I'm gonna learn the damn bus routes so I can cart my ass from the apartment to Lansing on a Friday or Saturday night and get plastered, because that's the American Way! OR at least my American Way...
So moving on from my not so secret hobby of bar crawling leads me to the title of this entry. Which in fact has to do with bar crawling. Imagine that.
Lets have a free bit of Advice: "Don't finish your friends drink, even if they ask you to."
Why? GERMS! EVIL EVIL GERMS! Egads, one blackberry stoli and sprite later --> Homeless sounds like Vin Diesel. Perhaps I should expound on that. You know when Vin Diesel plays... a badass? Like Riddick from Pitch Black? The gravely sound? Yeah, thats Homeless right now. A raspy, gravel-pit inspired husk of my normal cheery self.
... I'm digging it too.
So apparently this acts like Spanish Fly to the women-folk of Lansing, without the nasty side effects like renal failure. Homeless got looks and nudges abound, and even some free drinks.
So perhaps the lesson is "Always finish your friends drinks when they could possibly give you a raspy voice sickness plague.... thing."
Or maybe I'm just clueless.
Again my post is cut short by the need for work. But this time I have a secondary excuse. I also want to finish up this work assignment so I can go back to... the bars!
What a silly existence I lead some days.
Take care of yourself
~H
2 comments:
I've actually never found the CATA buses to be that bad, but then I've only ridden a handful of them that weren't on the MSU campus. (1, 9, 16, 23.)
When I was homeless, released from jail in an unfamiliar town in a county I didn't know for pushing my older sister into a pile for bed linings and pillows. I found my self walking towards the setting sun, picking up some land marks and finding myself in Lansing. I also found the cata bus system. The horrors I witnessed on that fatefilled eve would last longer then my interest in telling the tale. Years later I would find myself in Iraq transporting terrorists to a field hospital in Fallujah. There bus’ where in better shape then cata. Covered in gore and gut shot sub human filth (the stink of bile freshly mixing with the smell of un processed excrement open to the air from a terror shocked dieing animal is a special kind of reek.) the bus’ where in better shape then cata. I would state that as a testament of Jennifer grandholm, who is under serous consideration for economic advisor for the new president of the United States.
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